Enjoy!

Rather funny video. Enjoy!
http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-63711994125288566

At a recent computer expo , Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated:

“If General Motors had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving twenty-five dollar cars that got 1,000 miles to the gallon.”

In response to Bill’s comments, General Motors issued a press release stating (by Mr. Welch himself):

“If GM had developed technology like Microsoft, we would all be driving cars with the following characteristics:

1) For no reason whatsoever your car would crash twice a day.
2) Every time they painted new lines on the road you would have to buy a new car.
3) Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason, and you would just accept this, restart and drive on.
4) Occasionally, executing a manoeuvre such as a left turn, would cause your car to shut down and refuse to restart, in which case you would have to reinstall the engine.
5) Only one person at a time could use the car, unless you bought “Car95″ or “CarNT”. But then you would have to buy more seats.
6) Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, reliable, five times as fast, and twice as easy to drive, but would only run on five percent of the roads.
7) The oil, water temperature and alternator warning lights would be replaced by a single “general car default” warning light.
New seats would force everyone to have the same size butt.
9) The airbag system would say “Are you sure?” before going off.
10) Occasionally for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you out and refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door handle, turned the key, and grab hold of the radio antenna.
11) GM would also require all car buyers to also purchase a deluxe set of Rand McNally road maps (now a GM subsidiary), even though they neither need them nor want them. Attempting to delete this option would immediately cause the car’s performance to diminish by 50% or more. Moreover, GM would become a target for investigation by the Justice Department.
12) Every time GM introduced a new model car buyers would have to learn how to drive all over again because none of the controls would operate in the same manner as the old car.
13) You’d press the “start” button to shut off the engine.

You’ll Know It’s a No-Frills Airline If:

They don’t sell tickets, they sell chances.

All the insurance machines in the terminal are sold out.

Before the flight, the passengers get together and elect a pilot.

If you kiss the wing for luck before boarding, it kisses you back.

You cannot board the plane unless you have the exact change.

Before you took off, the stewardess tells you to fasten your Velcro.

The Captain asks all the passengers to chip in a little for gas.

When they pull the steps away, the plane starts rocking.

The Captain yells at the ground crew to get the cows off the runway.

You ask the Captain how often their planes crash and he sez, “Just once.”

No movie. Don’t need one.

Your life keeps flashing before your eyes.

You see a man with a gun, but he’s demanding to be let off the plane.

All the planes have both a bathroom and a chapel.

1. Aircraft never have headaches.
2. You can fly your aircraft in public.
3. Your aircraft will never get jealous if you get into another one.
4. You can talk about how great your last flight was in mixed company.
5. You don’t have to wear a condom in an aircraft.
6. Your aircraft doesn’t care how many other aircraft you’ve had.
7. You can share your aircraft with others.
8. Aircraft don’t care if you go out and buy aircraft magazines.
9. Aircraft don’t get pregnant.
10. You don’t have to apologise to an aircraft before flying it.
11. Aircraft don’t care if you’re late.
12. You don’t have to meet your aircraft’s mother.
13. When you get in your aircraft and fly somewhere, you both arrive at the same time.
14. Your aircraft will sit quietly, waiting for you.
15. If you buy something expensive for your aircraft, it’s because it is necessary.
16. Your aircraft will not care how you look when you go out together.
17. Your aircraft will not cry and want to go home when seen at a function in identical colours to another aircraft.
18. Your aircraft will not complain when you leave the toilet seat up.
19. You don’t have to take your aircraft out to dinner or a movie to get into it.
20. You can pull your aircraft’s circuit breakers at any time without getting a slap across the face.
21. Aircraft don’t talk sex, politics, or religion.