At a recent computer expo , Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated:

“If General Motors had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving twenty-five dollar cars that got 1,000 miles to the gallon.”

In response to Bill’s comments, General Motors issued a press release stating (by Mr. Welch himself):

“If GM had developed technology like Microsoft, we would all be driving cars with the following characteristics:

1) For no reason whatsoever your car would crash twice a day.
2) Every time they painted new lines on the road you would have to buy a new car.
3) Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason, and you would just accept this, restart and drive on.
4) Occasionally, executing a manoeuvre such as a left turn, would cause your car to shut down and refuse to restart, in which case you would have to reinstall the engine.
5) Only one person at a time could use the car, unless you bought “Car95″ or “CarNT”. But then you would have to buy more seats.
6) Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, reliable, five times as fast, and twice as easy to drive, but would only run on five percent of the roads.
7) The oil, water temperature and alternator warning lights would be replaced by a single “general car default” warning light.
New seats would force everyone to have the same size butt.
9) The airbag system would say “Are you sure?” before going off.
10) Occasionally for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you out and refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door handle, turned the key, and grab hold of the radio antenna.
11) GM would also require all car buyers to also purchase a deluxe set of Rand McNally road maps (now a GM subsidiary), even though they neither need them nor want them. Attempting to delete this option would immediately cause the car’s performance to diminish by 50% or more. Moreover, GM would become a target for investigation by the Justice Department.
12) Every time GM introduced a new model car buyers would have to learn how to drive all over again because none of the controls would operate in the same manner as the old car.
13) You’d press the “start” button to shut off the engine.

You’ll Know It’s a No-Frills Airline If:

They don’t sell tickets, they sell chances.

All the insurance machines in the terminal are sold out.

Before the flight, the passengers get together and elect a pilot.

If you kiss the wing for luck before boarding, it kisses you back.

You cannot board the plane unless you have the exact change.

Before you took off, the stewardess tells you to fasten your Velcro.

The Captain asks all the passengers to chip in a little for gas.

When they pull the steps away, the plane starts rocking.

The Captain yells at the ground crew to get the cows off the runway.

You ask the Captain how often their planes crash and he sez, “Just once.”

No movie. Don’t need one.

Your life keeps flashing before your eyes.

You see a man with a gun, but he’s demanding to be let off the plane.

All the planes have both a bathroom and a chapel.

You may notice on the menu bar to the left that I have added an image randomiser. There’s only a few in there at the moment, but I hope to add more soon. Let me know what you think of it, and especially let me know if you spot any brokenness (that means you Internet Explorer users!). I thought about a feature where you could click to enlarge the image, but decided it was pointless as you can just look in the photo gallery!

Arrived back home about 5 this morning. We landed an hour late due to some pathetic messing around before departure by the handling agents, then got a taxi to the hotel where we had left our car and drove home.

I’ve just uploaded loads of photos to the gallery, trying to stick to only the most interesting ones. I haven’t arranged them into individual days due to cant-be-botheredness associated with lack of sleep and other things to do, but hopefully you should be able to tell what most of them are anyway. They are all sorted in ascending date order (earliest first).

Still got a few days to write up, which will be done sometime soon and slotted into place. I’m also going to read through the ones I’ve already posted to make sure they read well – they were all written with an hour in an internet cafe whilst doing other things.

[edit] Also uploaded some photos from Manchester airport viewing park and my scuba diving course. We visited the aircraft viewing park the day before we went and saw some interesting departures, including a rare British Airways benyhone Dash 8 and a super-huge Antonov 124 cargo. The scuba diving photos weren’t taken by me, only the ones named DSCFxxx (not Sx) were from our dives.

Our excursion today started at 4am with a wakeup call and a coach to Sharm-El-Sheikh airport where we boarded an Air Cairo flight to Luxor. It was an A321-200, SU-GBV and took about half hour.

God knows what time we arrived, but by 9 we had arrived at the Valley of The Kings after an amusing ride through the city of Luxor. In the ancient times, it was the capital of Egypt and was known as Thebes. The Valley of The Kings was a burial site for the Pharoes where they were buried in huge tombs dug out specifically for each ruler. To date there are 63 tombs that have been discovered, the most recently only a few months ago which was still being excavated while we were there to discover the identity of its occupant. We spent an hour exploring the tombs and burial chambers. Some of them had been discovered before Roman times and so have been open for a long time, but those more recently discovered revealed vivid paintings and carvings on the walls to help send the dead king to the afterlife.

The next stop on our journey was a temple built by the only female Pharoe, Hatchepsut. By now it was getting towards midday and the sun beat down on the desert and the rocks of the temple were hot to the touch. Looking back from the ruined temple, which was seated in the side of a mountain on the west bank of the Nile river, it was strange to see an expanse of desert surrounded by the green fertile area of the Nile where crops were growing.

After a quick photo stop on a bridge crossing the Nile, we were on our way to a hotel on the more populated east side for lunch. Following this welcome break from the sun, we were now to spend the rest of our day in Luxor frying in the heat visiting Karnak and Luxor Temples. At about 60 acres, Karnak Temple is the biggest temple in the world, and consists of various buildings which are now in a state of ruin, dedicated to the worship of a specific ancient Egyptian God. We stood for a while listening to the tour guide in a huge room with tall pillars, each of which was covered in inscriptions and hieroglyphics from top to bottom. The heat was an immense 42°C with very low humidity, resulting in a very dry heat that was almost unbearable to stand in for long periods.

Linking the Karnak and Luxor Temples in the ancient times was a 3 km long avenue, lined on both sides by Sphinx’s, the head of a man and the body of the lion to protect the Gods as they went between the sites. Most of these are yet to be uncovered, buried under houses and roads in the city, but some have been excavated. Luxor Temple was much the same as its neighbour down the road, but one thing that took my attention was the remains of a painting on one of the walls – of the last supper. The Christians had used a part of the Temple in the early years AD, covering the walls in plaster and redecorating with their own paintings.

At about 6, we went back to the airport for our flight back to Sharm-El-Sheikh. It was exactly the same plane again, SU-GBV.

One of the things that stood out for me during today’s trip was the way over 4000 years of history, different civilisations and religions had left their mark in such a small area. One third of the world’s monuments are to be found in and around Luxor, and they say only 20% of the ancient Egyptian treasures are yet to be discovered.